“I have come to accept the feeling of not knowing where I am going. And I have trained myself to love it. Because it is only when we are suspended in mid-air with no landing in sight, that we force our wings to unravel and alas begin our flight. And as we fly, we still may not know where we are going to. But the miracle is in the unfolding of the wings. You may not know where you’re going, but you know that so long as you spread your wings, the winds will carry you.” ― C. JoyBell C.
Where shall I begin? To those of you who have followed this blog for over a year, allow me to begin by apologizing for my absence over the past five months. My life has been a trying maze over the past several months. I have been overwhelmed in a way that I cannot even begin to explain. As a result, I have been just trying to keep my head above water and to find my way out of the jungle. I also had to take some time off from reading all of your blogs. To be quite frank, I just couldn’t deal and I needed some time and space. To those of you who have successfully conceived or given birth, I am so very happy for you. To those of you who have been unsuccessful at conceiving or who have lost pregnancies, please know that my heart is with you. I am sure that I will go into my experiences in a series of blog posts in the coming weeks or months. Through it all, there have been many, many times when I have wanted to write about my experiences. I just couldn’t seem to find the energy or the motivation. Ironically, I recently received an email from a new blog follower who sent me a quick email just to make sure I am okay. This three sentence email gave me the nudge I needed to return to this safe haven. I look forward to sharing my experiences with you when time and motivation allow. In the meantime, I am very happy to have returned to this home and to following all of your blogs.
- Jade and I are still very much together. We just celebrated our 8th anniversary and the past six months have reminded me of the love and deep connection we share. Jade is my rock. She is my best friend. She understands me in a way that no one else does. When I was broken, she stayed by my side and picked up the pieces and helped me fit them back together. Occasionally, she reads this blog and if you are reading this, Jade, please know this: I love you on a level that most people seek to find in their lives. You are the best part of me. And even if I don’t tell you often enough, please know that I appreciate everything you are doing for me and our family. I appreciate the sacrifices you make and I am so grateful to have you in my life.
- Jade and I are NOT actively trying for a baby currently but we do have plans to try again late this summer. In the meantime, I am focusing on improving my general health which has suffered a bit over the past several months. I am focused on being in the best mental and physical shape possible. Thanks to the new health plans offered in my area as a result of the Affordable Care Act, my insurance now covers fertility treatment and most importantly, I now have coverage for the high cost fertility injections my body requires. This is a HUGE help to us.
If you’re still following this blog, thank you for your ongoing support. I look forward to sharing my journey with you and continuing to follow yours.