I have ten days until Jade and I move from our lovely two bedroom semi-urban condo into a house in “the country”. To be fair, the area we are moving to isn’t that far removed from where we live now. It’s exactly 15 miles south and in a quaint, small town. The problem is, the vibe of the area is very different from where we live now. The area is quieter. It’s not nearly as accessible (think two lane road into and out of town). There aren’t many of the conveniences we are used to having. There are only two restaurants, two pharmacies, and two grocery stores. We are used to having no less than 25 restaurants within a three-mile radius. I’ve been spoiled by having a Fresh Market, a Publix, a Winn-Dixie, and a Whole Foods within a five-minute drive. Our condo is right off of a main thoroughfare. But, there is a season for everything. And it is time for us to move.
Anne’s health is failing. She is becoming less mobile and less coherent. She is heavily reliant on the use of pain medications. The woman I have grown to love over the past nine years is waning. It is truly sad to see. Her birthday was last week and per her request, we went to Red Lobster to celebrate. While in the restaurant, she looked so small and frail. It’s heartbreaking really. Anne’s daughter, Farrah, is having a hard time with processing that her mother is likely going to die within the next year. Anne and her husband, Greg, have started making funeral arrangements which is simply overwhelming to Farrah. I am doing my very best to be a good sister-in-law and friend to both Anne and Farrah.
With everything going on, in many ways, I feel selfish for even thinking about having a child. I am focusing my energy on getting through this move and being a support person for this family during such difficult times. But still, the desire to have a child lingers and I’m a bit bitter that I have to put it on the back burner, especially when we were so close last time. My body isn’t cooperating. Today is cycle day 26 and there are no signs pointing to ovulation. I suppose it doesn’t matter since we won’t be trying this month anyway. But still…. what woman doesn’t want to know that her reproductive system functions properly at 30 years old? A little reassurance goes a long way.
And so, life moves forward. We’re all just along for the ride.
P.S. To my new readers, by request, I’ve added a page that gives a brief overview of each of the people in my world. You can find it here. And thanks for following me!