“Listen to the mustn’ts, child. Listen to the don’ts. Listen to the shouldn’ts, the impossibles, the won’ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me… Anything can happen, child. Anything can be.”
― Shel Silverstein
Jade and I spent our long weekend with our god-daughter, Riley (Baby Cutie Patootie). Riley is my sunshine on a dark day. She is sixteen months old and full of light, life, and joy. Riley and I have a very special connection. She and I have been close since her birth. Lately, Riley cries anytime she and I must be apart. She cries when I leave her behind anywhere, even with her mother. My connection to Riley transcends all understanding. It allows me to see that the path to motherhood doesn’t have to be by birth. One can still have a strong and deep connection to child without a biological connection. This is a fact I have always insisted upon but never experienced until Riley was born. I love this child with everything in my being and I will always protect her.
Saturday, we went to the zoo. I found myself looking at all of the animals in the zoo through new, young, innocent eyes again. While Riley assumed that every animal with fur was a dog (thanks to my own little rascal dogs), I found so much peace and joy in walking with her hand-in-hand while showing her each of the animals and encouraging her to repeat the words after me. She is such a smart, vocal girl. We rode the train and she pointed to all of the animals in the distance. We rode the carousel and she said, “whee!” as the zebra on the carousel went round and round. Sunday, we spent the day at the park and played on the playground. Jade was such a good sport as she climbed the equipment and encouraged Riley to follow her (as I tagged along with the camera). Monday, we spent the day at Gigi’s house (my mom) enjoying a meal and playing with my niece BrightEyes. My weekend was filled with observances of the joy in small things.
After such a terrible report from the nurse this past Friday, my weekend gave me a glimmer of hope. Jade and I discussed IVF. We discussed IUI with injectable medications. We discussed adoption. After all of these discussions, we were left with one certainty:
Nothing is impossible.
I can’t begin to tell you what path we will end up taking to motherhood but I am certain we will find our way there.