Riding the Roller Coaster…

The roller-coaster is my life; life is a fast, dizzying game; life is a parachute jump; it’s taking chances, falling over and getting up again; it’s mountaineering; it’s wanting to get to the very top of yourself and feeling angry and dissatisfied when you don’t manage it. – Paulo Coelho, Eleven Minutes

the-roller-coaster-largeI have been avoiding blogging about this week. It has been a roller coaster of  emotions.  I just didn’t  have the energy to share my story.

Last Thursday was Cycle Day 10.  Per Dr. M’s orders, I went in for an ultrasound and blood work.  Jade was able to accompany me.  Before noon, the Franny called me with my results.  My Estradiol (E2) was 45 and I had one follicle on my left ovary measuring 11mm.  My uterine lining was only 0.6mm and they require at least 0.7mm to conduct an insemination.  I was instructed to come back in Monday, CD 14.

Monday’s appointment wasn’t so hopeful.  My Estradiol level was 46.9 and the lovely follicle on my left ovary was nowhere to be found!  I did have one additional follicle on my right ovary measuring 11mm but unless we saw a substantial increase in my E2 and the growth of another follicle, Dr. M would likely cancel this cycle particularly because my uterine lining was only 0.6mm.  I was devastated.  Stupid PCOS wins again.

Today is CD 16 and I dutifully returned to the RE’s office for another scan and more blood work feeling very forlorn and less than optimistic.  A large part of me wants to throw in the towel completely.  My sweet Jade (whose birthday was yesterday, by the way) was ever so encouraging.  During my scan, Franny was able to locate two 16mm follicles and my uterine lining is measuring 0.73mm!  I have a follicle on each of my ovaries.  My Around noon, Franny called with my blood test results.  Today my Estradiol level is 80 (which exceeds their minimum requirement of 75)!  We scheduled another appointment for an ultrasound and blood work for Friday morning, Day 18.  It appears I may actually ovulate (albeit late) this month! We are hopeful that we will be able to do an insemination before we jet off for Spain two weeks from today.

Trying to make a baby is like riding a roller coaster.  There are ups and downs.  There are sharp turns and times when you feel like your heart is in your tummy.  There are moments of pleasure and moments of fear. Please say a prayer, light a candle, single a song, send sticky baby dust, or do whatever you do to send positivity into this world!

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5 thoughts on “Riding the Roller Coaster…

  1. Sending lots of prayers and hope that this cycle is a big GO! I ovulate around day 18 regularly – I don’t think its too problematic. Although, I haven’t ended up pregnant yet either, so what do I know? 😉

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