Disappointment

dis·ap·point·ment
/ˌdisəˈpointmənt/

Noun
The feeling of sadness or displeasure caused by the nonfulfillment of one’s hopes or expectations.

Synonyms
letdown – frustration – chagrin – disillusionment

I haven’t written recently. I’ve been trying my best to maintain positivity and hope that my body would cooperate. Well, it looks like this is not our month. Dr. M never got back with me about my most recent round of testing. I phoned her yesterday, however, I was informed that she is out of the office until Monday. My BBT indicates that I failed to ovulate.

One of my oldest friends sent me a text message last night announcing that she and her husband are pregnant with their first child. She wanted to share this news with me even though she and Rob aren’t telling anyone else. I am truly happy for her but at the same time, her news brought over a wave of sadness through me. I can accept not getting pregnant but I am angry that my body won’t even ovulate.

Today, I am surrounded by my two nieces. They bring me so much joy but at the end of the day, they go home and my house is left with silence and stillness.

Today, I am disappointed and a little sad…

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8 thoughts on “Disappointment

  1. I’m so sorry to hear about your disappointment, and I imagine anger at Dr M not getting back to you as she said she would. And the news about your friend’s pregnancy – I understand those mixed feelings so well. My experience is that I am a mixture of genuinely pleased for them, gutted that OH and I aren’t there yet, and then guilt that I am not 100% able to be happy and feel a bit selfish too. It’s hard to take.

    I’m glad your nieces are there to make you happy – I adore my own nieces and nephew, and it does help being around them. But I also know what you mean about the feeling when they leave.

    Sending love and prayers your way for better times ahead x

  2. I’m sorry this wasn’t your month. The pregnancy announcements never seem to get easier (at least for me). I’m glad you have your nieces to cheer you up– my niece is really one of the only things that cheers me up on bad days. Sending positive thoughts your way for next month!

  3. I’m so so sorry about your frustration, I know you were really looking forward to this. I hope next cycle will be better for you, or that the doctor can handle your situation with more sensitivity and help you figure out how to get your body to cooperate.

  4. I’m furious on your behalf that your doc didn’t call you back. Its just so totally unacceptable. I’m hoping you are able to let them know what you need in this process, and that you are able to get it. Sending you peace and hope.

  5. I am completely with you on this feeling of being over the moon for someone when they make their announcement but feeling the awful emptiness too! XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

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